Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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