We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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