I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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