i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
