distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
How external is "for external use only"?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
