Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
