u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
