were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
