i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
how does that bad decision feel?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
