ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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