I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
