Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
