I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
