return my video game
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
