so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It was confusing and full of hummus
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
