So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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