I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
