I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Say something about gay babies.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
