If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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