where am i from again
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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