I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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