Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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