Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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