I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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