sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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