Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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