ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
