That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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