kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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