It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
