I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just forgot I was standing up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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