I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
