This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
