This is not my ceiling
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
