It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
