She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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