We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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