It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So here I am, sexting at work.
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