Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
