my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
