i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
