Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
