TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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