Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
