He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
