were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
