Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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