Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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