I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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