you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
